It's India Public Day today, so i got one day holiday. . at least for this CNY...
Today google page got a nice icon of elephants.. i bet i will really miss these elephants, or I should say i will really miss INDIA once i get back to Malaysia.
Now is almost near the end, my journey in Manipal.. Can't believe this two and a half years just pass like that. I can't say this is the toughest experience in my life but its is the most unbelievable miracle so far for me to have gone through this much.
Learning about medicine, the profession of a doctor that save life-- the noble job that assist GOD, just like an angel.. Can't believe i had chosen
to be one of them and can't believe i had been through this far.
The learning itself has been an interesting and fascinating experience. We get to know more about ourselves as a human being. Though I always like to mup up and memorized text as if it is my nature to do so, i find it hard when it comes to the ANATOMY of human body. Truly, God had done a great job in creating human with that bunch of muscles, nerves, vessels, and the most complicated part-- the BRAIN. Isn't it irony that my brain have difficulty in memorizing his own parts and function.. TROLLLLL!!!!!
Anyway, i passed the subject and when it is no more a subject to learn for exam i found it more attractive and more friendly to me.. *am i MAD to imagine that the subject has became like one of my best friend ever***well it does especially when come to application on medicine and surgery.. though most of the time i found myself as a fool for not knowing most of the structure soaking in that amount of blood that my mum will surely faint if she saw...i shall be satisfied when i revised it again and found out that i actually did study for the pass 2 years.. as a consolation maybe..
The theory part has always become so dull that most of my friends complaint and we found it quite useless and irrational to have learn too much but forget about it totally after the exam.. We hope we din't cause this profession is deal with the matter of life and death counted in seconds but sometime we just have to, because my brain feel stuff and congested, i had no choice but to remove previous memory... I bet all the medical students d
id that for the sake of passing the test..
Although this is the impression i get since i had been enrolled into the medical school.. but lately i found out and i knew i would find out one day .. the purpose of
all that i had been doing so far got its reason behind. As in buddha teaching all happenings are with its karma. I know that i am always too lacking since i started MBBS.. I am no longer the top student like last time in school. I always felt sad and traumatized to see my badly done results. SOmetimes i just feel like giving up but can you imagine, with this tiny and low level of mine that barely and just enough to pass i manage to explain to my family and other friends about the diseases and condition that they have, the basis behind it and the way to relieve the pain or to get cure.. I felt relieve, seriously, though i never have confident to do so but again its unbelievable, that it is ME that can do this.. Of course i have to learn more, sincerely and humbly so that i can help all of my patient in future.
The clinical year that i had started for 4 months so far are really inspiring. Mostly inspired by all the DOCTORS.. THey are really too great. Seeing them working day in and out for their patients, the knowledge, the skills, and the wisdom they have really make me motivated in learning ..
I get lots of different and amusing experience in each of the department.. But .. apart from the fun of learning, . there are always sorrows and tears.. though they are not my patients, though they are not known to me, but yet i felt sad to hear all the bad news.. standing beside them but nothing i can do except just some words of support.. i know there are more times like this in my career in the future, it still haven't start and getting started ..
Getting posted in obstetrics and gynaecology department after peadiatrics.. Women are the main concerned here.. I get to know more about myself and its time for me to take good care of myself for the sake of my baby in the future, hope it isn't too late now. No wonder mothers are noble, the responsibility to their child started since the day they know that they are female. Anything happens to their own body will have effects to their babies when they get pregnant later. There is only one thing flash in my mind when i realised it, for my condition now i know i can't make it. With all my history of amenorrhea, metrorrhagia, dysmenorrhea, the body that always deprived of rest and aneamic... I felt sorry for myself, should have taken better care before.. SO what to do now is start from now on i have to take extra care .. even if i am ot going to get married and have children, i have to be responsible to myself to prevent complication further in my life.
Watching both cesarean and normal vaginal labour, make me touch.. Mothers are really awesome to have the courage to gone through such pain just to deliver the baby.. seeing patients everyday in the OPD, Ward, Labour Room, OT.. lots of complications and suffer they had gone through throughout the whole process of pregnancy.. but it all paid off the moment they heard the baby cries for the first time ... TO all the disobedient and rebellious child out there, please be ashamed to have treat your parents badly.. I think all of us should see how a mother giving birth, then there will be no naughty and disobedient children, don't cha agree??
Each and everyday, i should study hard and learn well so that i can become like one of those professor of mine .. TO be a GOOD DOCTOR... =)
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