2020
没想到转眼就到了
过去的一年
都被时间赶着跑
赶着赶着自己也到了三十的年头
不晓得未来还有什么在等着
倒还是很好奇
换了个新环境
感恩又遇到一群好伙伴
没想到
会在这个地方
和这群人倒数
感谢上天没把我遗忘
满满的欢喜和感恩
没想到会旧事重提
虽然没有到云淡风轻
但我想我已经可以释怀了
未来的路
不管还有什么阻碍什么荆棘
会迎来更大的挑战
我想初心不变会是我的座右铭
过去走过的路，遇过的人和事
都会是为未来灌溉的养分
嘉佩，加油！
2020年1月2日 星期四
2019年4月29日 星期一
道别
经历了很多
以为自己会比较能够保护自己
但却被自己的自信打败
最后还是被背叛
曾经告诉自己
不再对任何人事物动情
但却不知不觉也沦陷了
虽然没用情太深
但我还是个人
有血有泪的人
怎么会任由自己被伤害呢
以为是铁打的吗
铁打的，再强的
伟大如钢铁人
最终也成了炮灰
或许并没有人想这样
但人不为己天诛地灭
我只想平凡的，安稳的
当个正常人
难道错了吗？
他们没错
让自己被当牺牲品
没人会懂的你伟大
只会被当傻子和笑话
自己懂的自己的价值
我不会被打败的
只是真的要管好自己的心
不可以在轻易被动摇
不可以再那么容易的
又再受伤
要保护好自己
过去的
一步错步步错
蹉跎的， 脆弱的
时间不会倒退
就算倒退
也不能改变
好想有个人能懂
所有坚强背后的疼
那个说永远陪着我的人
那个说会走到最后的人
原来到头来
只剩我，停留在原地
该是时候放下，不顾一切的往前了
过去的所有，你，你还有我
像复仇者联盟的终结
道别了！
以为自己会比较能够保护自己
但却被自己的自信打败
最后还是被背叛
曾经告诉自己
不再对任何人事物动情
但却不知不觉也沦陷了
虽然没用情太深
但我还是个人
有血有泪的人
怎么会任由自己被伤害呢
以为是铁打的吗
铁打的，再强的
伟大如钢铁人
最终也成了炮灰
或许并没有人想这样
但人不为己天诛地灭
我只想平凡的，安稳的
当个正常人
难道错了吗？
他们没错
让自己被当牺牲品
没人会懂的你伟大
只会被当傻子和笑话
自己懂的自己的价值
我不会被打败的
只是真的要管好自己的心
不可以在轻易被动摇
不可以再那么容易的
又再受伤
要保护好自己
过去的
一步错步步错
蹉跎的， 脆弱的
时间不会倒退
就算倒退
也不能改变
好想有个人能懂
所有坚强背后的疼
那个说永远陪着我的人
那个说会走到最后的人
原来到头来
只剩我，停留在原地
该是时候放下，不顾一切的往前了
过去的所有，你，你还有我
像复仇者联盟的终结
道别了！
2015年9月9日 星期三
《默》
电影《何以笙箫默》插曲《默》
作词：尹约
作曲：钱雷
演唱：那英
歌词：
忍不住化身一条固执的鱼
逆着洋流独自游到底
年少时候虔诚发过的誓
沉默地沉没在深海里
重温几次
结局还是
失去你
我被爱判处终身孤寂
不还手 不放手
笔下画不完的圆
心间填不满的缘 是你
为何爱判处众生孤寂
挣不脱 逃不过
眉头解不开的结
命中解不开的劫 是你
啊 失去你
啊 我失去你
忍不住化身一条固执的鱼
逆着洋流独自游到底
年少时候虔诚发过的誓
沉默地沉没在深海里
周而复始
结局还是
失去你
我被爱判处终身孤寂
不还手 不放手
笔下画不完的圆
心间填不满的缘 是你
为何爱判处众生孤寂
挣不脱 逃不过
眉头解不开的结
命中解不开的劫 是你
啊 失去你
啊 我失去你
2015年3月29日 星期日
其实我原来并不无情
没想到会在这种时间想写blog..时间又让我成长了。。这将近一个月的时间，多麽的短暂，但发生的事情真的很多。。。开始了医生的生涯，看见了世间的苦与悲。。每天有不同的苦痛就在眼前，很努力的尝试做点什么，但总觉得很无奈，拼命的努力提升自己，不敢松懈，与其说工作的压力，是自己对自己的要求。。。其实我原来并不无情。。。每天压抑自己的心情，不能与家人分享，怕他们担心，不能在病人面前表露，只有再更努力，更坚强，尽量发挥我所能。。惊觉，其实除了病痛，人生最痛苦的是家人的遗弃，而这是不能置评的，每个人有他们的人生，或许发生了什么事，或许生活的压力苦衷真的让他们喘不过气，许多的理由，可见要存活的意志力，是多麽的脆弱，不攻自破，太多的人事物，复杂的背景，这些事我们无可奈何，唯有在自己的岗位，尽最大的努力和责任，希望他们可以得到少少安慰。。有一位长期的病患者，看穿了我的无奈，好心的劝说，如果我不能硬下心，会很折磨，不适合当医生，也不是没道理，我以前就以为自己可以不在下班时间想起病人们的安危，胆大的走上这一条路，音乐老师还一针见血的问我为什么要当医生，他说他的工作每天遇见因音乐而快乐的人，而我的工作每天遇见因病痛苦的人，当时不知天高地厚的我还自信的说我可以的。。。或许时间久了就会麻木，但变得麻木是好事吗？对自己是好的，但对病人或许不好。。。或许对病人不忍心，就对自己残忍，那我宁愿对自己残忍。。。想太多了。。。希望阿弥陀佛保佑，至少不要因为我而带给他人伤害。。那就好了。。。至少尽了力，问心无愧就好了。。现在的自己能力还很有限，要继续的努力才能成为能真正帮助病人的医生。。加油！！！
话说真的很感恩能遇到很好的上司与同事，可以看见他们成功的原因，那么的乐于助人，那么的有能力，有智慧，真的要好好跟他们学习，很喜欢现在的工作环境，或许就是要这样，大家才能充满正能量的面对病患。。。感恩每天都能在温故知新，从不同的角度学习医学，学习人生，感恩阿弥陀佛 =D
话说真的很感恩能遇到很好的上司与同事，可以看见他们成功的原因，那么的乐于助人，那么的有能力，有智慧，真的要好好跟他们学习，很喜欢现在的工作环境，或许就是要这样，大家才能充满正能量的面对病患。。。感恩每天都能在温故知新，从不同的角度学习医学，学习人生，感恩阿弥陀佛 =D
2014年12月26日 星期五
本是同根生
好久都没好好的沉淀自己了，毕业后的几个月，像似忙碌，但也不怎么样，好像每天都庸庸碌碌的过，与其说是真的很忙，不如说是思绪太忙，导致身心疲惫。。这短短的几个月真的发生了好多好多事。。有时真的不能不接受自己真的是那么的有故事的人，并不是自己自作多情而是那一连串的事情就是那么的不能远离我，或许事情的根源早已在远久百年以前早已注定吧！不是说我要那么的容易接受所谓的命运，一直以来都坚定命运是掌握在自己手中的，但一切的一切让我不得不接受祂所安排的‘命运’。毕业后，终于可以和家人团聚，真的很感恩，自从中学毕业后，不知不觉已经断断续续的离家八年的时间。这期间世界不停在变，我也不停地成长。。说实话真的很不容易的到了今天，但我想我是幸福的，毕竟世上有多少人能像我一样的如愿以偿呢！虽然这还是刚开始，未来的路还很长，但我很确定自己的方向，不再迷茫，不再犹豫。。这八年经历的一切，都是值得的。
自从懂事以来，就看尽了人心险恶，小小年纪的自己已经下定决心要成功，终有一天，要让糟蹋我们，看不起我们的人看见，我要告诉他们成功并不靠陷害别人，贬低别人，糟蹋别人，侵占别人而得，堂堂正正，埋头苦干，只要心存善念，成功并不难。今天的我虽然还没真正的成功，但我想我已经做到了。但真的很让人心痛的是，那些人依然还是执迷不悟，依然还是不肯放过我们！与其说是生气，失望，难过，其实不过是痛心，为什么人总是被贪念蒙蔽，为什么不能珍惜身边所有？开始深深地体会地藏王菩萨地狱未空誓不成佛的心情，怎么要度化他们是那么的难？他们不是别人，是我原本亲爱的家人。。本是同个根生，相煎何太急。。。
爷爷的离去，原本是一切恩怨的了结，却成了另一场战争的开始。。我想爷爷在天之灵也不能安息。。。为什么我们什么都不说什么都忍耐什么都不要了，他们还是想尽办法来对付我们呢？一直以来，在我心里我尊重你们是长辈，上一代的恩恩怨怨，根本就不应该影响下一代，难道堂妹的牺牲还不足以警惕我们吗？为什么他们始终不能明白邪不能胜正的道理呢？做尽坏事还理直气壮的，难道世人真的可以被你们的把戏欺骗，你们真的以为可以只手遮天？爷爷，说实话您在世时，我从来没有好好的跟您说句话，因为我懂您的为难，我懂您会难做人，我相信您也懂我的心意。当我真正成为医生的那一天，却接到您病重的噩耗，我是那么的无能，那么的心痛，到医院看您奄奄一息的样子我只能祈求上天，但最后您还是走了，或许那也是一种解脱，真的希望您能安息的。。。请您原谅奶奶，姑姑与叔叔们再灵前说的话和做的事吧！原谅我们的不孝吧！为了避免和他们的冲突，我们都忍了那么多年，没想到您尸骨未寒，他们竟然在您面前打我爸爸和辱骂我妈妈。我懂您一定很生气与心痛，但我想这一切这么的发生，一定有祂的原因的。我们身为您的长子长孙已经尽了最后的孝心，今世我们祖孙缘薄，倘若有缘就来世再续吧！或许那一下，真的打断了我们之间的一切情谊，一切亲情。您就原谅他们吧！虽然很不愿意，但你的逝去，了断了我们对他们的一切怨与情，我们不会再与他们有任何的冲突和瓜葛。从一开始就什么都不要，只要留给自己当个正直的人的尊严。但如果他们什么都拿了还是那么的一意孤行，有意伤害我的家人，到时就请您不要怪我无情！阿弥陀佛，希望他们不要再有来者不善的念头，早日回头是岸吧！
很小的时候，我总是觉得遗憾，觉得为什么那么亲的两家人，会搞得这种地步，是哪里出了错？从太奶奶那一代，妈妈的家人和爸爸的家人就已结下良缘，这一代难得凑合了两对姻缘，为什么会弄得这么的糟糕。。。但渐渐的长大，我慢慢的明白，这世界并不是我们想象中的那样，我不犯人人不犯我的道理，遇到贪欲与爱恨嗔痴就不复存在了。。。
毕业后回到家，发现一切都变了。。那个任劳任怨的爸爸，被自己的家人避害，变得暴躁无理，那个充满智慧温柔体贴的妈妈，变得急性易怒，为了保护我们和守护爸爸不被那些人陷害，变得性格强硬，敏感。。有时觉得真的好可怕，但想想也不是他们的错，毕竟这是他们自我保护的模式，面对那一班蛮横霸道的‘家人’二十多年来，他们除了忍耐，就只能这么的保护自己保护我们。。。或许弟弟妹妹们不能完全了解，所以才会不满爸妈，觉得他们难相处和沟通，但身为大姐姐，从小发生的一切，我全都知道。。除了好好的跟弟妹们沟通希望他们多谢体谅父母，我真的不懂怎么做了。。或许时间久了他们会慢慢了解的。。只希望他们不会被不良的示范影响，不会被那些人陷害与利用。。利用我们的无知，亲情，良心，心软与善良，正是他们最擅长的，我是不会让他们得逞的，必须一一拆穿他们的面具与谎言，才能保护好自己和弟妹。。。
爸妈之间的事也让我深深的明白，两个人在一起并不是只有爱情就够的。。涉及两家人的事，是多麽的别扭，两人之间的感情是多麽的不堪一击。。。看见血肉模糊的场面，自十岁那件事到今天，离离合合的爸妈，我已经习以为常，甚至变得麻木无情，但我视乎忘了一件事，十岁的我那么的无奈无助，但今天的我是成年人了，应该有能力去阻止不该发生的事。。或许我真的没想到那么多年后的今天，爸妈还是那么的不成熟，做出互相伤害的事。。或许不懂他们之间的风风雨雨会认为不可理喻，但知道一切的我怎么能不了解，就算不能完全了解，也至少可以体谅一些。。。真的很佩服自己在那个时刻竟然够胆以身试险，站在他们之间，或许说出来都没人相信，一边举着两米大锤子，一边双手握着刀，都是我的父母，在中间毫无畏惧的大喊不要，好像越大声就越能有效，喊着要砍就砍我吧！仿佛是个什么都不畏惧的战士，捍卫者即将破碎的家。回想我的双腿都发麻，幸好能治止悲剧发生。。。至于还小的弟妹们，我只能事后再多多跟他们沟通，安抚他们。。。开始觉得自己为什么会麻木于这些事，见太多不是借口，我该怎么去理清这一切呢？只有时间和慢慢沟通与很多很多的爱与关心可以做到了。。。祈祷阿弥陀佛可以让我有能力安抚他们这千疮百孔的心灵了。。
爷爷的去世，两家的不合，爸妈之间的冲突，这一切让我看清了很多事，除了人情世故，我看到了爸妈间的爱情，那是多么的惊心动魄，多麽的动人心弦，我想我未必能像他们一样，为了心爱的人义无反顾的付出与保护。。虽然每天好像吵吵闹闹的，但我知道他们是真心爱这对方爱我们的，那就够了，这样我们就会有更多勇气去面对未来的种种。。。希望随着时间一切不好的事都会烟消云散，一件一件的迎刃而解。。我知道有时自己太急着要和那边的人撇清关系，要我们一家人都能放下往前走，甚至有时会很懊恼他们有可能会为我添麻烦，但想想，我必须顾及他们的感受，毕竟那曾是他们的亲人，毕竟事情一连串的发生了20多年甚至更久，毕竟他们就是因为太顾及感情才会陷入两难，所以会给他们多些时间的，而且他们是我最亲爱的爸妈，我怎么能在他们遇到难题是抛弃或嫌弃他们呢？希望上天保佑大家能拨开云雾见青天。。
回顾过去，活了25年，走了别人不走的路，谢谢这些年遇见的每一个你，无论现在我们是敌是友甚至是陌生人，还是阴阳相隔，我衷心的谢谢你们，谢谢一切的喜与悲，让我成为今天的我。阿弥陀佛。未来的路希望大家都能坚强的向前!!
就快要开始医者的生涯了，是充满使命，充满挑战的，要加油哦!
加插一些在我中国故乡清远的照片。。这次到大陆寻亲真是祖先保佑出路遇贵人。。看到这些景色真的能让我放下所有恩怨。。
这也是祖先的愿望吧！
嘉佩，fighting!!!
JYJ, fighting!!
Xia JunSu, fighting!!
JaeJoong, fighting!!
YuChun, fighitng!!
YunHo, fighting!!
ChangMin, fighting!!
TVXQ, fighting!!
听着JYJ的Just Us, Creation, 还有 TVXQ 的Tied 和 Over，^^ 真是好听真是贴切。。。希望他们五只也能放下恩怨，快乐的庆祝这共同的11年纪念日吧！<3 comment-3--="" nbsp="">
2014年10月7日 星期二
真的我
看完了一部以精神病患作为题材的韩剧。。一幕幕的让我想起了往事，多麽甜蜜，多麽温暖，多麽激烈，多麽恐慌，多麽心痛，多麽折磨，像自己的投射一样，他，和我，再也没有我们，不像那甜美的结局。。
心情即熟悉又陌生，即怀念又害怕。。
男主角淋漓精致的演绎，真的很像很像。。一切是那么的相像，靠近，像是昨天才发生的事一样，只是，我是旁观者，不是戏中人。。
剧名取得真好《没关系，那是爱呀！》
如果当时我不只是一个医学生，而像女主角一样是个精神专科，会不会有不一样的结果呢？
但这些如果终究是如果，不可能发生，不是真的，就像过去的那千万个如果，不会有答案，不会有结果，那又如何呢？那是爱呀！其实这部剧让我非常的满足，就像是要给自己一个暂时的答案也好。。非常完美，非常美妙，也让我更加明白自己，明白自己真正想要的生活。。希望那个他，也享受着自己的生活吧！无论在哪里，我的祝福永远都与他同在。。。
毕业后的每一天，都过得很冲忙。。以为忙就可以逃避不想面对的事，但其实越逃避越明显，繁杂的事总会在停下来的一刻，显现无疑，多么突出。。才再次发现，自己又打回原形。。不能再逃避了，但那种得不到答案的无奈感，谁来替我扛呢？或许不可以再问为什么会减少更多的烦恼。。Ella陈嘉桦的新歌 《真的我》像给了我方向，真的形容得太贴切了。。好喜欢里面的歌词：
心情即熟悉又陌生，即怀念又害怕。。
男主角淋漓精致的演绎，真的很像很像。。一切是那么的相像，靠近，像是昨天才发生的事一样，只是，我是旁观者，不是戏中人。。
剧名取得真好《没关系，那是爱呀！》
如果当时我不只是一个医学生，而像女主角一样是个精神专科，会不会有不一样的结果呢？
但这些如果终究是如果，不可能发生，不是真的，就像过去的那千万个如果，不会有答案，不会有结果，那又如何呢？那是爱呀！其实这部剧让我非常的满足，就像是要给自己一个暂时的答案也好。。非常完美，非常美妙，也让我更加明白自己，明白自己真正想要的生活。。希望那个他，也享受着自己的生活吧！无论在哪里，我的祝福永远都与他同在。。。
毕业后的每一天，都过得很冲忙。。以为忙就可以逃避不想面对的事，但其实越逃避越明显，繁杂的事总会在停下来的一刻，显现无疑，多么突出。。才再次发现，自己又打回原形。。不能再逃避了，但那种得不到答案的无奈感，谁来替我扛呢？或许不可以再问为什么会减少更多的烦恼。。Ella陈嘉桦的新歌 《真的我》像给了我方向，真的形容得太贴切了。。好喜欢里面的歌词：
我 夜深了 對我說
這些年努力妳辛苦了
無人時候 讓我擁抱 真的我
我 天亮了 對我說
只好繼續加油不然呢
只要我懂這一切為什麼 那就好了
我沒有說謊 聽來就像 一句完美的謊
情歌越誇張 聽眾才越捧場
不用太慌張 我不會揭穿你的偽裝
因為我一樣 自願上美麗的當我
夜深了 對我說 這些年努力妳辛苦了
無人時候 讓我擁抱 真的我
我 天亮了 對我說 只好繼續加油不然呢
只要我懂這一切為什麼 那就好了
我 夜深了 對我說 偶爾有迷惘但不寂寞
那麼多人 陪我矛盾 在活著
我 天亮了對我說 任何角色我都不退縮
只要我能對自己負責任 就不管了
哪一個自己才是真的
我确信，快乐的自己就是真的我 =D
粉飾的傷疤 看過去美得像一幅畫。。。
2014年9月20日 星期六
放下。我着
最近发生了好多事，好多对人都难以启齿的事，跟了几位好友提过但却始终不能完全表达自己的心情。。大概是他们都觉得我疯了。。好多好多的话只想对一个人说，但那个人，已经离去，又何苦再生事端呢？其实根本再也没有这个人了，这个可以让我的心灵有寄托的人，既是如此，就寄托给啊弥陀佛吧！或许事情根本没那么糟糕，也或许是本来就是那么的复杂。。渐渐我自己也变得麻木，又突然清醒过来，觉得应该做些什么，然后又很无奈，再次的纵容自己的麻木。。天哪！这世上怎么就会有那么多的奇怪复杂的事，而且统统都让我给撞上。。或许天地之大，也有人和我一样，希望他们也能坚强的面对吧！家，一个多么有意义的词，承载着许多人的幸福，许多人的痛苦。。我知道没有痛苦，就没有幸福，但，有痛苦也不一定有幸福吧！执着，是那么的让人难以放下，放下后，是那么的无情，至少对身边的人来说，所以我的不执着成了我的无情。。怎么办？难道要出家么？这么多事未了怎么能欺骗自己。。那么说来，好像出家的人都是无情的，是这样吗？我知道不是，但现在的我，真的还没参透其中奥秘，真是愚痴呀！我知道的事，出家，并不是用来逃避的借口，必须六根清净，像我现在这般烦恼与难题，根本就没资格谈。。六根清净如果指的是放下我着，那现在的我根本办不到，不是不想，是不能这么做，抛下我的家，在这么水深火热之中。。所以决定要让家人也一起学习放下执着。。啊弥陀佛，希望我真的能做到，加油！！
2014年8月30日 星期六
珍重
真的太难想象，我终于达成了梦想，真正的路途正式要开始了!! 身为钱家的第一位医生，既害怕又兴奋。。现在不想想太多，只想好好地休息，因为迎面而来的挑战就是要成为一名好医生！！
翻开一页页的旧记忆，真的好不容易的过了这7年，期间发生了太多太多不可思议的事，人生真是难以预料，兜兜转转，昔日的一切就只能回味了，一起开启的旅程，能一直到最后的真的不多，真的很感慨一些人事物就这样可能从此不再交际。。很感恩上天对我不薄，让我认识了一班非常棒的朋友们，这5-7年，犹如打了一场战，过关斩将，出生入死，风雨同行，感谢每一个在我生命里出现的你和妳，即使是路过，也可以让我回忆很久很久，希望可以把不快乐的都抛开，珍惜所有一起相处的快乐。。
朋友们，珍重！祝你们一帆风顺，前程似锦，身体健康！！！
在人生的道路都能发光发日，帮助有需要的人，加油！！！
说再见真的很难。。。已经开始怀念了。。
翻开一页页的旧记忆，真的好不容易的过了这7年，期间发生了太多太多不可思议的事，人生真是难以预料，兜兜转转，昔日的一切就只能回味了，一起开启的旅程，能一直到最后的真的不多，真的很感慨一些人事物就这样可能从此不再交际。。很感恩上天对我不薄，让我认识了一班非常棒的朋友们，这5-7年，犹如打了一场战，过关斩将，出生入死，风雨同行，感谢每一个在我生命里出现的你和妳，即使是路过，也可以让我回忆很久很久，希望可以把不快乐的都抛开，珍惜所有一起相处的快乐。。
朋友们，珍重！祝你们一帆风顺，前程似锦，身体健康！！！
在人生的道路都能发光发日，帮助有需要的人，加油！！！
说再见真的很难。。。已经开始怀念了。。
2014年8月18日 星期一
2014年7月4日 星期五
JUST DO IT ！
距离MBBS FINAL 25 天21 小时
好想一口气把所有的书都哽了，距离梦想很近的，我知道我可以的。
但一直被藏在内心的另一个我似乎蠢蠢欲动，对于音乐舞蹈，突然有好多憧憬。。
真可笑，也不是特别有才华，也没受过什么特别训练，比起自己的同伴其实根本与艺术拉不上边，最多只能当个消遣。。
那比起这些，成为医生视乎还比较容易一些。。
当然并不是这样才选择读医科的，那颗想要帮助更多人的心一点都没变。。
对于你还有家人的承诺也没有忘，就让这一股动力继续吧！
不是为了完成后向你炫耀，也没那么伟大替你完成梦想，不过我知道这是我选择的，我一定会坚持到底，未来的路还很长，但短距离计划就是把它完成，再好好地面对你，然后为我热爱的艺术狂欢一番，再好好规划我的人生。虽然你不再是我人生规划的一部分，但也想与你分享。。发现自己很无奈很无能为力的过了好多年，是时候抬起头来，为自己，为家人做点什么，就算是简单的陪伴关怀与了解，希望可以追回那逝去的时光，在还来得及的时候=）
很喜欢‘冒牌生’的这段话：当你不知道自己想要什么的时候，试着忘掉那些不可能，坚持一个小小的可能吧！
环境是刻苦的，身体是疲累的，灵魂是丰富的，而梦想是一天比一天
Yo， just do it !! ^^
好想一口气把所有的书都哽了，距离梦想很近的，我知道我可以的。
但一直被藏在内心的另一个我似乎蠢蠢欲动，对于音乐舞蹈，突然有好多憧憬。。
真可笑，也不是特别有才华，也没受过什么特别训练，比起自己的同伴其实根本与艺术拉不上边，最多只能当个消遣。。
那比起这些，成为医生视乎还比较容易一些。。
当然并不是这样才选择读医科的，那颗想要帮助更多人的心一点都没变。。
对于你还有家人的承诺也没有忘，就让这一股动力继续吧！
不是为了完成后向你炫耀，也没那么伟大替你完成梦想，不过我知道这是我选择的，我一定会坚持到底，未来的路还很长，但短距离计划就是把它完成，再好好地面对你，然后为我热爱的艺术狂欢一番，再好好规划我的人生。虽然你不再是我人生规划的一部分，但也想与你分享。。发现自己很无奈很无能为力的过了好多年，是时候抬起头来，为自己，为家人做点什么，就算是简单的陪伴关怀与了解，希望可以追回那逝去的时光，在还来得及的时候=）
很喜欢‘冒牌生’的这段话：当你不知道自己想要什么的时候，试着忘掉那些不可能，坚持一个小小的可能吧！
环境是刻苦的，身体是疲累的，灵魂是丰富的，而梦想是一天比一天
Yo， just do it !! ^^
2014年6月25日 星期三
"You cannot save everyone" written by Bryant McGill
Should you help someone who is reaching out and deeply-hurting? Absolutely. Do what you can to help people but have the wisdom to accept your limits. You can only do so much. You should never have a relationship based on guilt over someone's poor choices. It is so easy to find ourselves in denial about someone's behavior because we so deeply wish they could escape their pain and suffering. But what we want for others doesn't work unless they want it for themselves. People must save themselves, and you can only help a person who really wants it and is ready. You have permission to walk away from anything that doesn't feel right. Trust your instincts and listen to your inner-voice — it's trying to protect you. Never stop sharing your love with people; that's why you were put on Earth. But sometimes the way to share your love is to let someone go. Staying in an unhealthy relationship can keep a person from finding their own way and moving to the next level of their own path — and that person could even be you. Sometimes the best way to save someone is to walk-away. Real love sometimes means saying goodbye.
Your life was meant for more than being a life-long doormat for deadbeats, losers, gossipers, nay-sayers, dream-crushers, energy vampires, users, abusers, ragers and passive-aggressive backstabbers. Some of these people are rabidly-infected with obvious madness. Some have less obvious ways, such as the "helpful" enabler, who sends you off to your destruction with a helping hand and a smile. Some are "doubt-whispers," who plant the seeds of non-belief in your heart to take root, so they can then console you in your inevitable moment of defeat. There are also perpetual victims who feed on your constant attention. Call them what you want, you know exactly who I am talking about. One thing always reveals their sometimes hidden identity — after you have been around them, how do you feel; have you been depleted and drained or energized and inspired?
"From the backstabbing co-worker to the meddling sister-in-law, you are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life. You can either give negativity power over your life or you can choose happiness instead."
— Anais Nin
A person at peace can immediately recognize a consciousness in crisis, whereas those in crisis cannot fully understand themselves or others. This is the eternal challenge with ignorance — ignorance can't see itself. People often turn away from advice because they need something others can never offer them — discovery. As much as we would like to help others avoid pain, sometimes we have to let go and allow them to receive their painful lessons. Suffering is one of life's great teachers. You cannot save people from themselves. All you can do is stand firmly in your hopes for them, with compassion.
"It takes a lot more courage to let something go than it does to hang on to it, trying to make it better. Letting go doesn't mean ignoring a situation. Letting go means accepting what is, exactly as it is, without fear, resistance, or a struggle for control."
— Iyanla Vanzant
I know you want to be a good person and be helpful to people in need, but it's impossible to give to others if you have been used-up. Being a good person has nothing to do with allowing people to destroy you. There are limits. You can best help others from a position of strength, not weakness. So, don't forget to be good to yourself first. Don't forget to take care of you! It is never cruel to want to save yourself from being swamped by fools. You cannot save everyone. Some people are going to destroy themselves no matter how much you try to help them. Their lives are full of emptiness, chaos and dysfunction, and they will bring their misery and pain into your life with full-force if you allow it. Then there are others who have the outward appearance of success and are seemingly not self-destructive in nature. These people do not destroy themselves, but instead survive through the destruction of others — these are the users. Either of these types of people will latch-on to you in a death-spiral and take you down to the depths of hell with them. This is your life and you have the right and responsibility to make good decisions for yourself.
"You cannot expect to live a positive life if you hang with negative people."
— Joel Osteen
You must firmly, absolutely and ruthlessly protect your safety and sanity. Misery loves good company, so if you are surrounded with drama, gossip and fools you may want to consider that you are presently at risk of becoming one of them. The real zombie-apocalypse is the pandemic of drama and mediocrity. Troublemakers will infect you with the malady of their madness. And especially, if your positivity immune system is low, any exposure to a person afflicted with negativity can poison your life. You have to get these people out of your life once and for all. One of the fastest ways you can profoundly change your life is to rid yourself of toxic people. When you do come in contact with one of these people run for your life. Get to safety. Meditatively and spiritually decontaminate yourself. Scrub down your brain with a wire-brush and remove their insanity from the corridors of your mind. Inoculate yourself immediately by creating a safe space and aligning yourself with healthy people. If you have to go it alone for a while until you find your healthy tribe and chosen family, that is fine. Being alone is much better than being around negative people out of loneliness or desperation.
"Inoculate yourself from dangerous bozos."
— Guy Kawasaki
Boundaries and risk management are very important parts of living a healthy and positive life. Even professionals like therapists, psychologists and social workers limit their exposure to their clients and draw boundaries. What makes you think you can handle unlimited exposure to toxic people and survive? You can still be a charitable person who helps and cares about people, without helping those very people destroy your life. Learn how to draw a line and learn how to enforce it. Get selfish and take care of you. Cleanliness and order is good Feng Shui which applies to people even more than to the things in your life. You must clear out what you don't want to make room for what you do want to arrive. The way to send a clear message that you are ready for better people in your life is the kick the rascals to the curb. We strive our whole lives to love people unconditionally, but sometimes we need to get rid of people unconditionally. The intimate space of your personal life should be reserved for amazing, beautiful, radiant souls — good, wholesome and loving people. Your truest family is your chosen family, people with whom you most identify. Make a clear decision on the type of people you want in your life and if they don't make the cut, then create some distance. It doesn't matter if it is a close relative, parent or child-hood friend; no matter the history — when people are toxic, disruptive and dysfunctional with no reasonable signs of recovery, then they need to go. Sometimes, to escape a bad relationship and reclaim our lives, we have to break a piece of our heart off, like a wolf chews its leg off to escape a steel trap. Love toxic people from a distance.
"End it now! Don't waste another minute dealing with a toxic, negative, energy-draining person. Some people are wired for negativity. They love being argumentative, combative and abusive. Run for your life as quickly as possible. Life is too short and unpredictable to deal with these emotional vampires. They feed off of stressing you out, raising hell and creating drama for you. The toxic energy will turn your hair gray overnight, cause you to gain weight and rob you of your health. Don't waste valuable time trying to change them. Change yourself and get them out of your life! Don't say a word; leave all of your belongings if you have to in the middle of the night. Cut off all communication. Don't take their calls. You have heard all the lies before. They will not change. They don't choose to change. It is who they have decided to be. Move to another city, if you must, and start all over again. Your life is worth it. You deserve to have peace of mind, a great relationship and an exciting life. Watch how dramatically your life will change for the better once you get this burden off your back. The air you breathe will become fresh and invigorating. You will feel an infusion of exuberance, energy and love for life. With this stifling, suffocating and controlling person out of your life, get ready to live again and be the person that you've always wanted to be. Live life on your own terms, not having to answer to anyone but yourself. Control your own destiny."
— Les Brown
Sometimes a person needs us to abandon them, but we hang-on anyway, which can be devastating for both parties. Helping others can sometimes be a convenient distraction from addressing our own unresolved issues. When someone you know is so toxic and destructive that they are poisoning your life, you have to create some distance. They need you to walk away as much as you need it. People who are out of control desperately need to observe your healthy boundaries in-play to learn from your example. You best teach others about healthy boundaries by enforcing yours on them. There is a difference between giving-up and strategic disengagement. Know the difference. Learn how to let people go. Stop holding-on to the wrong people. Let them go on their own way; if not for you, then for them.
"Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny."
— Steve Maraboli
You can help others once you are safe, secure and successful in your own life. Practically every successful person you know of is successful, in part, because they moved the destructive and disruptive people out of their lives. Successful people carefully manage their energy and associations; they are gatekeepers. Who you allow into your life, mind and heart are among the most important decisions you will ever make. Take inventory of the people with whom you spend the most time. Who you spend your time with is who you are, or who you will soon become. Limit your exposure to unhealthy and unsupportive people. Love yourself enough to say no to people who diminish your chances for a beautiful and empowered life. Sometimes you have to get away from what you know to discover what you don't know. It is time for the abuse, control, lies and negativity to end. Align yourself with a new tribe of healthy people who are supportive of your highest good and potential. Find the people who are living the positive lifestyle you wish for yourself and who share your values, and create a new family of friends that you can call, "home." Your new positive and supportive tribe will edify you, strengthen you and empower you to serve others in ways you would have never before imagined. Taking care of yourself is the most powerful way to begin to take care of others. Healing for everyone begins with self-love — starting right now.
Poster created by SimpleReminders.com
Should you help someone who is reaching out and deeply-hurting? Absolutely. Do what you can to help people but have the wisdom to accept your limits. You can only do so much. You should never have a relationship based on guilt over someone's poor choices. It is so easy to find ourselves in denial about someone's behavior because we so deeply wish they could escape their pain and suffering. But what we want for others doesn't work unless they want it for themselves. People must save themselves, and you can only help a person who really wants it and is ready. You have permission to walk away from anything that doesn't feel right. Trust your instincts and listen to your inner-voice — it's trying to protect you. Never stop sharing your love with people; that's why you were put on Earth. But sometimes the way to share your love is to let someone go. Staying in an unhealthy relationship can keep a person from finding their own way and moving to the next level of their own path — and that person could even be you. Sometimes the best way to save someone is to walk-away. Real love sometimes means saying goodbye.
Your life was meant for more than being a life-long doormat for deadbeats, losers, gossipers, nay-sayers, dream-crushers, energy vampires, users, abusers, ragers and passive-aggressive backstabbers. Some of these people are rabidly-infected with obvious madness. Some have less obvious ways, such as the "helpful" enabler, who sends you off to your destruction with a helping hand and a smile. Some are "doubt-whispers," who plant the seeds of non-belief in your heart to take root, so they can then console you in your inevitable moment of defeat. There are also perpetual victims who feed on your constant attention. Call them what you want, you know exactly who I am talking about. One thing always reveals their sometimes hidden identity — after you have been around them, how do you feel; have you been depleted and drained or energized and inspired?
"From the backstabbing co-worker to the meddling sister-in-law, you are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life. You can either give negativity power over your life or you can choose happiness instead."
— Anais Nin
A person at peace can immediately recognize a consciousness in crisis, whereas those in crisis cannot fully understand themselves or others. This is the eternal challenge with ignorance — ignorance can't see itself. People often turn away from advice because they need something others can never offer them — discovery. As much as we would like to help others avoid pain, sometimes we have to let go and allow them to receive their painful lessons. Suffering is one of life's great teachers. You cannot save people from themselves. All you can do is stand firmly in your hopes for them, with compassion.
"It takes a lot more courage to let something go than it does to hang on to it, trying to make it better. Letting go doesn't mean ignoring a situation. Letting go means accepting what is, exactly as it is, without fear, resistance, or a struggle for control."
— Iyanla Vanzant
I know you want to be a good person and be helpful to people in need, but it's impossible to give to others if you have been used-up. Being a good person has nothing to do with allowing people to destroy you. There are limits. You can best help others from a position of strength, not weakness. So, don't forget to be good to yourself first. Don't forget to take care of you! It is never cruel to want to save yourself from being swamped by fools. You cannot save everyone. Some people are going to destroy themselves no matter how much you try to help them. Their lives are full of emptiness, chaos and dysfunction, and they will bring their misery and pain into your life with full-force if you allow it. Then there are others who have the outward appearance of success and are seemingly not self-destructive in nature. These people do not destroy themselves, but instead survive through the destruction of others — these are the users. Either of these types of people will latch-on to you in a death-spiral and take you down to the depths of hell with them. This is your life and you have the right and responsibility to make good decisions for yourself.
"You cannot expect to live a positive life if you hang with negative people."
— Joel Osteen
You must firmly, absolutely and ruthlessly protect your safety and sanity. Misery loves good company, so if you are surrounded with drama, gossip and fools you may want to consider that you are presently at risk of becoming one of them. The real zombie-apocalypse is the pandemic of drama and mediocrity. Troublemakers will infect you with the malady of their madness. And especially, if your positivity immune system is low, any exposure to a person afflicted with negativity can poison your life. You have to get these people out of your life once and for all. One of the fastest ways you can profoundly change your life is to rid yourself of toxic people. When you do come in contact with one of these people run for your life. Get to safety. Meditatively and spiritually decontaminate yourself. Scrub down your brain with a wire-brush and remove their insanity from the corridors of your mind. Inoculate yourself immediately by creating a safe space and aligning yourself with healthy people. If you have to go it alone for a while until you find your healthy tribe and chosen family, that is fine. Being alone is much better than being around negative people out of loneliness or desperation.
"Inoculate yourself from dangerous bozos."
— Guy Kawasaki
Boundaries and risk management are very important parts of living a healthy and positive life. Even professionals like therapists, psychologists and social workers limit their exposure to their clients and draw boundaries. What makes you think you can handle unlimited exposure to toxic people and survive? You can still be a charitable person who helps and cares about people, without helping those very people destroy your life. Learn how to draw a line and learn how to enforce it. Get selfish and take care of you. Cleanliness and order is good Feng Shui which applies to people even more than to the things in your life. You must clear out what you don't want to make room for what you do want to arrive. The way to send a clear message that you are ready for better people in your life is the kick the rascals to the curb. We strive our whole lives to love people unconditionally, but sometimes we need to get rid of people unconditionally. The intimate space of your personal life should be reserved for amazing, beautiful, radiant souls — good, wholesome and loving people. Your truest family is your chosen family, people with whom you most identify. Make a clear decision on the type of people you want in your life and if they don't make the cut, then create some distance. It doesn't matter if it is a close relative, parent or child-hood friend; no matter the history — when people are toxic, disruptive and dysfunctional with no reasonable signs of recovery, then they need to go. Sometimes, to escape a bad relationship and reclaim our lives, we have to break a piece of our heart off, like a wolf chews its leg off to escape a steel trap. Love toxic people from a distance.
"End it now! Don't waste another minute dealing with a toxic, negative, energy-draining person. Some people are wired for negativity. They love being argumentative, combative and abusive. Run for your life as quickly as possible. Life is too short and unpredictable to deal with these emotional vampires. They feed off of stressing you out, raising hell and creating drama for you. The toxic energy will turn your hair gray overnight, cause you to gain weight and rob you of your health. Don't waste valuable time trying to change them. Change yourself and get them out of your life! Don't say a word; leave all of your belongings if you have to in the middle of the night. Cut off all communication. Don't take their calls. You have heard all the lies before. They will not change. They don't choose to change. It is who they have decided to be. Move to another city, if you must, and start all over again. Your life is worth it. You deserve to have peace of mind, a great relationship and an exciting life. Watch how dramatically your life will change for the better once you get this burden off your back. The air you breathe will become fresh and invigorating. You will feel an infusion of exuberance, energy and love for life. With this stifling, suffocating and controlling person out of your life, get ready to live again and be the person that you've always wanted to be. Live life on your own terms, not having to answer to anyone but yourself. Control your own destiny."
— Les Brown
Sometimes a person needs us to abandon them, but we hang-on anyway, which can be devastating for both parties. Helping others can sometimes be a convenient distraction from addressing our own unresolved issues. When someone you know is so toxic and destructive that they are poisoning your life, you have to create some distance. They need you to walk away as much as you need it. People who are out of control desperately need to observe your healthy boundaries in-play to learn from your example. You best teach others about healthy boundaries by enforcing yours on them. There is a difference between giving-up and strategic disengagement. Know the difference. Learn how to let people go. Stop holding-on to the wrong people. Let them go on their own way; if not for you, then for them.
"Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny."
— Steve Maraboli
You can help others once you are safe, secure and successful in your own life. Practically every successful person you know of is successful, in part, because they moved the destructive and disruptive people out of their lives. Successful people carefully manage their energy and associations; they are gatekeepers. Who you allow into your life, mind and heart are among the most important decisions you will ever make. Take inventory of the people with whom you spend the most time. Who you spend your time with is who you are, or who you will soon become. Limit your exposure to unhealthy and unsupportive people. Love yourself enough to say no to people who diminish your chances for a beautiful and empowered life. Sometimes you have to get away from what you know to discover what you don't know. It is time for the abuse, control, lies and negativity to end. Align yourself with a new tribe of healthy people who are supportive of your highest good and potential. Find the people who are living the positive lifestyle you wish for yourself and who share your values, and create a new family of friends that you can call, "home." Your new positive and supportive tribe will edify you, strengthen you and empower you to serve others in ways you would have never before imagined. Taking care of yourself is the most powerful way to begin to take care of others. Healing for everyone begins with self-love — starting right now.
Poster created by SimpleReminders.com
2014年6月7日 星期六
赚到。翅膀
好神奇的一天！！感恩<3 p="">
一大早，独自一人到医院，原本不愿意起床，但我告诉自己，不可以松懈，不可以为自己找借口偷懒。原本打算走路到医院，却在半路遇到玉芬，赚到顺风车。老天爷真的很眷顾我。
到了医院，去了心脏监护病房,INR诊所, 洗肾中心，再到医药病房。。遇见一位Datin, 跟我说了她的人生经历，叫我好好努力念书，不可以停下来，她说很少会跟别人分享，我真的赚到了。。
下午真的很累，不想去上课，教授是出了名的严厉，自己真的没做什么功课。还是硬着头皮去上了，结果她今天心情特好，授了很多宝贵的经验和知识，又赚到了=D
晚上，真的很犹豫，因为答应了要跟小出去，又想帮Janette庆生，housemates 又预了一起煮晚餐。。后来，小说要和她的另一位朋友庆生，怎么办，很怕因为不熟而尴尬。。结果，我就邀Janette 一起加入，巧合的另外两位学弟也一起来了。。本来不懂如何取舍，却意外的有了完美又有意义的一晚。
真的赚到了！！
没预料housemates会想要一起煮，真的很高兴他们有想到我，但我辜负了他们的一番好意，当我说要和别人出去时，他们没生气，很感激他们的体谅。。。一切都很random,所以临时决定，没预先告诉他们。
没预料小会帮Janette安排惊喜，真的很感激她! 虽然不是给我的惊喜，但我真的很感动^^
没料到Janette会答应一起出来，真的很感恩，很庆幸我可以陪她度过生日。
没料到可以认识多几位朋友，可以帮刚认识的朋友庆生，真的很妙！
看了电影 MALEFICENT, 不懂别人怎么想，我其实有感同身受，一个少女被爱欺骗，迷失自己，犯下错误，但又因为爱，破除了自己下的魔咒。认为世上不可能存在的真爱，原来自己也可以给予他人真爱。重点是，真爱不一定发生在男女之间，可以是亲情，友情，陌生的人，甚至是敌人的女儿。。无论怎么的想要恨一个人，想要毁掉一切，把自己装的很坏，但最终骗不了真正的自己，那个温柔而坚强的自己。。而被夺取的翅膀，终究会重新的回到自己身边。。一个人对自己因贪婪犯下的罪恶，进而变成无尽的恐惧，把对方当成最终的敌人，其实真正的敌人，是自己，不能面对的，恐惧的，也是自己。。当女主角得回翅膀再展翅飞翔的一刻，我仿佛也重新获得了了力量。。据说两国的恩怨只能让之高无双的英雄，或是无比邪恶的魔鬼出现才能解除；故事的结尾，之高无双的英雄与无比邪恶的魔鬼，都是同一个人，反映了，凡事都有两面。。也美化了童话里的魔女。。魔女，其实只是为爱受伤害的小女生。。
感恩，这么有意义的一天 <3 p="">
一大早，独自一人到医院，原本不愿意起床，但我告诉自己，不可以松懈，不可以为自己找借口偷懒。原本打算走路到医院，却在半路遇到玉芬，赚到顺风车。老天爷真的很眷顾我。
到了医院，去了心脏监护病房,INR诊所, 洗肾中心，再到医药病房。。遇见一位Datin, 跟我说了她的人生经历，叫我好好努力念书，不可以停下来，她说很少会跟别人分享，我真的赚到了。。
下午真的很累，不想去上课，教授是出了名的严厉，自己真的没做什么功课。还是硬着头皮去上了，结果她今天心情特好，授了很多宝贵的经验和知识，又赚到了=D
晚上，真的很犹豫，因为答应了要跟小出去，又想帮Janette庆生，housemates 又预了一起煮晚餐。。后来，小说要和她的另一位朋友庆生，怎么办，很怕因为不熟而尴尬。。结果，我就邀Janette 一起加入，巧合的另外两位学弟也一起来了。。本来不懂如何取舍，却意外的有了完美又有意义的一晚。
真的赚到了！！
没预料housemates会想要一起煮，真的很高兴他们有想到我，但我辜负了他们的一番好意，当我说要和别人出去时，他们没生气，很感激他们的体谅。。。一切都很random,所以临时决定，没预先告诉他们。
没预料小会帮Janette安排惊喜，真的很感激她! 虽然不是给我的惊喜，但我真的很感动^^
没料到Janette会答应一起出来，真的很感恩，很庆幸我可以陪她度过生日。
没料到可以认识多几位朋友，可以帮刚认识的朋友庆生，真的很妙！
看了电影
人類本來是會飛的
只是城府深了
貪愛使得壓力變大了
人就變重了
於是漸漸忘記怎麼飛行
我們都深陷在這不知何時種下無明的魔咒裡呀~~
--心靈甘露
每一件小事，都是生活中最幸福的大事。
--天下讀者俱樂部
感恩，这么有意义的一天 <3 p="">
2014年6月3日 星期二
2014年5月28日 星期三
2014年5月27日 星期二
2014年5月16日 星期五
2014年5月3日 星期六
他们说
他们说，我太过坦白，不应该，把自己的一切告诉别人，或是放在网路上。。
可能我就是天生爱现，但我所写的说的，都是关于自己最真实的心情，别人的隐私秘密，我绝对不会曝露半点，基本的礼貌和道德，我是有的。。
关于自己，无论好的坏的，都是我一点一滴的累积，我不管别人如何看我，我的价值，我自己很清楚。。活得坦荡荡，大概就是我人生的意义。。
当然别人的建议，无论藵或贬我都乐意接受，然后自己分析，自己做决定。。
我不隐瞒自己弱点，可以改进的一定会尽我所能，没办法的，我完全接受，这，就是我，我的一部分，不会逃避，不会隐瞒。。懂我的人，不需解释，不懂的也无需解释。。
我不隐藏自己的感情，因为喜欢与爱，对家人，对朋友，对心仪的人，都是不能等的，我的人生不会让自己后悔，就算受伤，就算难过，就算最终总会失去，至少我诚实的面对自己的感情。。当然如果对方因为如此而困扰，我也不会戳戳鄙人，勉强他人接受，但我很会很清楚的把一切都收藏的很好，写在这里是为了，如果有一天我忘记了这一段自己的感觉，至少它不会成为无人的记忆，像《死神》剧场电影版。。
看与不看是大众的自由，如果有心人想要拿这个大做文章，我不会畏惧，是事实的我会承认，不是的我绝不妥协，本来就不是很高调的人，应该不会有人想要八卦我的事吧！如果真的有，我也不会害怕我的过去会破坏形象还是什么的，因为我从来没讨厌过自己的过去，反而那是我骄傲的战绩，往后还会一点一滴的累积。。。
可能我就是天生爱现，但我所写的说的，都是关于自己最真实的心情，别人的隐私秘密，我绝对不会曝露半点，基本的礼貌和道德，我是有的。。
关于自己，无论好的坏的，都是我一点一滴的累积，我不管别人如何看我，我的价值，我自己很清楚。。活得坦荡荡，大概就是我人生的意义。。
当然别人的建议，无论藵或贬我都乐意接受，然后自己分析，自己做决定。。
我不隐瞒自己弱点，可以改进的一定会尽我所能，没办法的，我完全接受，这，就是我，我的一部分，不会逃避，不会隐瞒。。懂我的人，不需解释，不懂的也无需解释。。
我不隐藏自己的感情，因为喜欢与爱，对家人，对朋友，对心仪的人，都是不能等的，我的人生不会让自己后悔，就算受伤，就算难过，就算最终总会失去，至少我诚实的面对自己的感情。。当然如果对方因为如此而困扰，我也不会戳戳鄙人，勉强他人接受，但我很会很清楚的把一切都收藏的很好，写在这里是为了，如果有一天我忘记了这一段自己的感觉，至少它不会成为无人的记忆，像《死神》剧场电影版。。
看与不看是大众的自由，如果有心人想要拿这个大做文章，我不会畏惧，是事实的我会承认，不是的我绝不妥协，本来就不是很高调的人，应该不会有人想要八卦我的事吧！如果真的有，我也不会害怕我的过去会破坏形象还是什么的，因为我从来没讨厌过自己的过去，反而那是我骄傲的战绩，往后还会一点一滴的累积。。。
2014年4月30日 星期三
2014年4月24日 星期四
发现自己真的没事了，哭过后，感觉心很宽，很轻，谢谢你和你还有你忍受我的胡乱发泄。。不止这样，也领悟了许多。。原来把事情看的清，再看的轻，一切真的就微不足道了。。其实，才发现自己是个很不知足，不懂珍惜的人。。一直以为要追求的，要珍惜的，其实都是过眼云烟。。在身边的人事物却被忽略。。心才会那么的不踏实。。 想通了，看开了，懂得自己正真需要的是什么，才知道原来快乐与幸福是这般的随手可得。。今天的我很快乐，今天的我成长了。。往后也要这般的，懂得保护自己的心，不再让任何事情打乱，就能轻松地活的很快乐！我不会逃避，也不再掩饰，做自己认为对的，爱自己多一些！加油！
就像我可爱的俊秀=））好久都没好好的更近他。。对不起啊！发现无论多久没跟，只要看到他就会觉得很有能量！！ saranghaeyo oppa <3 p="">
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