也许无情真不应该动情。

我该怎么办？

我爱错了吗？

救我！

快要死掉了！

我了解你的苦衷。。

但

又有谁了解我呢？

u should know...

i do all this for u..

u should know...

i can die for u..

but..

u don't know...

u ll never know...

i have cry a river for u

n ll never cry again ...

forever....

i never know the truth...

till today..

u will never know how much i love u ..

its enough when i know u love me...

really...

love ...

its hurt...

by sure...

i ll prove it..

my heart ll go on...

n die...

finally...everything ends...

thank god it ends in a good manner...

today i have done my interview in Melaka Manipal Medical College...

They ask quiet simple question...

its quiet weird that my session end so fast...i just talk to them 4 bout 8 minutes but others are mainly 10 to 15 mins..

hope its fine...

The campus is beautiful...i love the sport complex...with inviting swimming pool. sauna room, dancing floor, gym...quiet like a resort...

thanks to our senior there...Ning Xin...she is from intec also ALM5...

The first thing that attract me is the lotus pool in front...its purple...its serene...its beautiful...


@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@


Don't know Why...i feel scare...

i suppose to feel relief...

not b'coz of interview..
not b'coz of a-level..
not b'coz of him..
not b'coz of BTN of course,,,

its b'coz of myself..
when everything ends i lost my destination
i am scare of the uncertainty in the future..
although everyone say i can..
although i think i can oso..
but
still..

i am scare..

may be i am juz not enough sleep...
hope everything ll b fine 2mlw...

昨天，今天，明天

时间真是个无情的怪物，昨天，今天，明天

昨天，文俊还在我家

今天，我们搭巴士回S。ALAM

明天，我将会到马六甲面试

一眨眼，两年时间就这样过去

人，是贪心的。。

才过两年

就又期盼着

再过两年

才刚别离

就又渴望着下次的重逢

所以

每天都要打起精神努力地活着

这是俊秀说的。。

嘉佩，加油吧！

终于。。一切度已到了尾声。。

我有许多不舍

许多不确定

许多彷徨

我知道我必须往前

我知道我可以办到

我相信你

我相信我自己

不会忘记

直道永远永远。。。

The sky

is raining...

I

am leaving..



With friendships

we pass through

peaks and troughs


With love

we shall remember each other

Anyeong...

Sayornara

Bye

Selamat tinggal...

blok #3

Our beloved block 3...


The volley ball court that we use to practice ~colours of the wind~

Memories...

Cemara






Hostel...

Last Day..

Finally...here come ...the last day in INTEC,UiTM...

Seems like everyday in the past two years..i have been longing 4 today to come...

Not that i dislike this place...of course every student is aiming to graduate...just that when today is today...i have somekind of feeling in my heart somewhere that shows that i actually fall in love with this place...

the first day i come ... i have lots of aims...Thank God that i can fulfill most of it...i never waste my time here...

There are lots of sweet memories here...

Apart from studying...

i make valueable friends here..

my classmates

my roommates

my housemates

my dancemates

my lecturers

...

Remember the moment we cook, we jog, we sing, we dance, we perform, we party, we do choral speaking and be the champion..

Not to forget also the time we laugh, we joke, we chit chat, we gossip, we make fun, we quarrel but getting know each other better then...

Although its a bit sad to say goodbye to all this...still everyone need to move on to achieve what we want...

All the best to everyone for your future undertakings...

I'm actually looking forward to meet u all then...may be five years, may be ten years...by then each and everyone of us will be different...

as a doctor

as a pharmachist

as an engineer

as a lecturer

as a biotechnologist

or

as a father or mother....

hope we all get to achieve goals in life...

cheerSSSSS!!!!!!!^^

你说
上天给你丰盛的活水
装满了水瓶
内里有泪结成的晶
远在天空亮晶晶

你说
一尘不异于世界
世界不异于一尘
没有小爱
大爱又如何得以完成
缘分就像绿光
错过了就是等待的无尽时光

无情

无情可以有表情无情可以有情绪
有情可以没表情有情可以没情绪
无情亦有情有情亦无情矣！

无私的爱

一眼万年

还是
一见钟情

承诺
毕竟希望
一生一世

看似
虚构又飘缈

却也
真实且真心

患得患失

无我无他

无望无欲

无私的爱。。。

无情

何谓有情？
何谓无情？
无情亦有情，
有情亦无情。

无情正是有情的最高境界矣！

you say
you need some time

you say
you need my support

you say
you are clear

you say
you can

you say
trust me

you say
you love me



I say
i can wait till you are ready

I say
i'll always suppport you till i died

I say
thank god you are clear and so am i

I say
i believe you can and i can too

I say
I trust you more than myself

I say
I LOVe you too.....

My answer

this
is my answer

to be by your side
everyday and night

the only answer
just the two of us

never regret
never change
my love

don't doubt
i am sure

don't care
what will happen

my heart will go on
my heart will be just for you

like what you say
until death bring us apart

till
eternity...

iN lOvE

Last weeek is a very special week for me....because someone very special shown up...i never know that i am love by other people...i can't believe someone actually confess to me...oh my god...what can i do?

i suppose to be studying hard for my a-level exam....i suppose to be concentrated....why me?

thank you very much for what you have done...i really appreciate....

can't believe i am so soon in a relationship...thank God for sending me such a good person...

can't believe i am actually in love...miss him as soon as he disappear from my sight....want to see him every day and night...

i am in love...

故事

今天早上跟妈妈去了一趟巴刹，从小如果没有上学，或是能够在周末的早上早起，都会到巴刹。今天再旧地重游，感觉即熟悉又陌生。熟的是一样的场景，一样的人，一样的对白; 陌生的是，陈旧的街道，苍老的人们。。。不知不觉，时间就这样，在所有人与物的身上留下了痕迹。

今天遇见了许多熟悉的面孔，但，他们都似乎认不出我来，也或是人老了记忆会衰退，耳朵和眼睛都不灵敏了。。唉！~真感叹岁月的无情。。

在这小小的市区里头发生的故事，可真多，多得我曾经立下心愿要用一生的时间将它叙述。

我想全天下除了一些特殊的例子，不会有我经历的一般。或许，我的故事，就是其中的特殊例子吧！在这小小的市区，不会有人不晓得有我这一家姓钱的。是因为这姓氏罕见，再加上每天免费序拨的是是非非，就如电影般曲折离奇，甚至连最佳奥斯卡电影都不及的剧情，让人为之心寒。

家里发生的一切，让我只能在像今天这样的巧合下到巴刹，才能看见爷爷奶奶，姑婆等长辈。看见他们苍老的模样，让我百感交集。。可能是因为在心中对于我们的歉疚，奶奶总爱在别人不留意的情况下把几张钞票塞到我手中。可能不了解发生在我周围的事的人会觉得很奇怪，但这，对于我来说，已经习以为常。也许这么做会让他老人家的心好过一点，所以我已学习不对这事做出任何反应，只微微笑点点头以表感谢。唉！真是无奈。。为什么一个老太婆要对自己的孙子表现一点关爱也要偷偷摸摸的。。

我的故事，一直在走着，过去的过去，现在的现在，未来的未来，过去的还未过去，现在就是现在，未来未来未来。。。

眼皮

从星期六早上一觉睡醒，就觉得眼皮好像怪怪的，一直都不能专心读书，结果一面睡一面读，醒一会儿睡一会儿，都不懂睡了多久，也不懂读了多少。

从小都一直对自己的一切有很多的疑问，时常会想为什么爸爸能有190厘米的高度？为什么妈妈有双眼皮而我没有？到了现在，原来，所有问题的答案，都只是一个--在bio里学到的genetic variation。

之前都有问过妈妈说，为什么我不会再长高？妈妈微笑说她是在生下我后才在增高至现在的高度的。当时我很怀疑，是妈妈要安慰我，还是真有其实。后来我又问说为什么家里只有妈妈有双眼皮？妈妈有说她小时候也是单眼皮的，长大后才会有双眼皮。哈？真是这样吗？到了现在我才开始相信一半的说法。虽然说妈妈是不会欺骗孩子的，但是真的难以置信！

为什么现在还半信半疑呢？因为从星期六起到今天星期二，我最典型的单眼皮变成了右眼双眼皮左眼单眼皮。。怎么办？之前都有试过一觉醒来眼睛变成这样“大小眼”，但是并不会持续太久，大概半天就没了。现在都四天了，感觉上是不会“打回原形了”。。

很小的时候有想过说如果有双双眼皮眼睛，一定很好看，但是可能是因为狮子座的自恋公主病作岁，年纪越大，就越喜欢自己的单眼皮，甚至引以为傲。

现在一切只能顺其自然，不管是双眼皮，还是单眼皮，仰或是一半一半，我，终究是我。

加油吧！钱嘉佩。

Just now Bc called…
He is so excited as if he found another planet….or something more special than that…
That’s to answer Gh question that day…
Why human exists?
Why God exists?
What is emptiness ?
Does it contradict with existence…?

Empty is not nothing
Empty is abstract
Is inside
Is not direct

Everything in this world is to express emptiness
Human exists
God exists
Everything exists
The world is the expression of emptiness
Its reflection

To simplify,
When one have a thought
Have a feeling
Others won’t know
If it is not express

First, you have a touch
A feeling
Then a thought
Next a melody
Followed by written it out as a music score
Through the score
It seems like the thought
the feeling
which is abstract
is solidify
is express

everything is link…..is related…is a cycle…music express ourselves…we use music to tell others what we feel…emptiness need existence to show itself…Existence reflect emptiness…it is like if you never try the taste of sadness …you won’t know that happy is so called happy…

Today, my mum and dad fetch me back. I feel so alien to be with them…without my siblings…Why? I wonder…
Anyway, I love them…we get to talk a lot…since long time…I feel like I am back to the past again……as their little girl…I found the tender part as well as the cute part of my dad…whose I haven’t approach since some years…I remember that we use to be so intimate when I was just a little girl….
I am home..finally…

We went to KFC for dinner as we got the voucher for refilling petrol at Petronas station…
My sis suddenly ask me a simple yet difficult question….i must use Chinese to explain the situation clearly….

如果一倍是原数乘以二
那么两倍呢？

What a question…
After thinking it for a while…
I figure out a satisfied answer…

当你比别人多一倍
那你就有两倍
所以乘以二。。

It’s so simple…but I doubt on it…
Our discussion even caught the attention of the ppl next to us…and those lining up to buy KFC…they even discuss among themselves …and found it amazing…sometimes we just don’t know about things that we suppose to know..or we thought we know…but we aren’t….

My Doubt

Yesterday, I went to talk to Rcl…it has been some time…we have direct face to face conversation…quiet a lot of people thought that something happen between us….since we are so good buddies from sem 2 but seems that we do not interact at all now…At first, I thought I have done something wrong…
Yup…I am not as perfect as what I thought bout myself..
I am selfish..
Stubborn…
Ungrateful…
I take everything for granted….
Seldom have I admitted that I am wrong…
I always think that I am correct and stick to it…
When someone did something that I do not accept….
I get fade up
I am always very strict to ppl around me….
Those that I care..
Sometimes, they find hard to cope with me
I made them suffer
And
I am not happy either
What I have done…
To HER
To Shrn, Rcl, my family..
I am so wrong…
So wrong to only realize it NoW……

I ask Rcl..
I finally make up my mind
To approach her
All naked…mentally..
I use the excuse that Gh want me to inform her that he failed to find the lecturer to sign the attendant book…
Then I ask her…
Have I done anything that irritated her?
She just gives me a mildly smile…
Plus a ‘no’
The shortest answer that I get from her since we know each other…
I reply with a smile…
As usual…
To hide my doubt..
I doubt…
Is it the end?
iS it just begin?
Or
There is actually no ending nor beginning?

Last day

Today is my last day to have class in INTEC…the last day to be in 8M3…my beloved class….
We have a nice pic with PN. Noreha...and a nice talk about life in India...Life as Doctor..etc with Mdm.Siva...
Not much ppl Shown up for the class so...we have did all the unusual thing...quiet a weird but interesting day...
My first impression to INTEC is not like anybody else…
I just fall in love with it…
I just like it…
Because it is fresh…
It is beautiful..
It is purple…

2years....just past................................................

ExiSteNce

Last night, Gh ask a question which is actaully what all the while people are eager to know...


The question sounds: Why people exists? Why God eXistS? How do they exists? Do they really exists?



Throughout the year, I have been searching for the answer also....But still..i can't find it...



I start to wonder, do people actually live to find out the answer...Do we really able to figure it out? With our tiny brain? with our limited knowledge?











Am I exists?
Yes, you are..
Why am I exists?
Because you want to...



Am I really exists?
No. you don't

Why not?

You exists, but you do not

You loVe but you aren't in love

You have it, but you don't

Empty is not nothing

Empty is not anything

It is false when you refer it to something

People strike hard to prove their existence

If existence exists, you do not need to prove it

If it doesn't exist ,what for you want to prove it?

Everyone exists to fulfill God's needs

That's what Hilary tell me

We all exists, because of different Will

That's what Bc says

To make it an easy way

I choose to live to the fullest

whether it's for God's purpose

Or for my personal Will

that is ...to be successful

Wish everyone I know

I don't know

I might know

I will know

GOOD LUck and be happy on the road towards SUCCESS