醒過來

這個世界上有太多煩惱，

所以有許多人，不約而同地問了佛祖一樣的問題：

「我該怎麼做，才能不再煩憂？」

佛祖給的答案都相同：

「只要放下，你就能不再煩惱。」

有個自以為聰明的人很不服氣，

便專程去找佛祖，挑釁地問：

「世上有千千萬萬個人，就有千千萬萬種煩惱。

但是您給他們的解決方式都完全相同，那豈不是太可笑了？」

佛祖沒有生氣，只是反問男子：

「你晚上睡覺的時候，會做夢嗎？」

「當然會！」男子回答。

「那麼，你每天晚上做的夢，都是一樣的嗎？」佛祖又問。

「當然是不一樣的。」

「你睡了千千萬萬次，就做了千千萬萬個夢。」

佛祖微笑地說：

「但是要結束夢的方法，卻都是一樣的，

那就是：『醒過來』！」

男子聽到佛祖的回答，啞口無言。

我很喜歡這則禪宗故事。

這則故事把煩惱比喻成「夢」，只要我們願意放下，

就能從夢中清醒來。

無論你的煩惱是什麼，方法都是一樣的。

能將我們從痛苦的地獄拯救出來的，

絕對不是別人，只有我們自己。

人生有太多包袱，

我們可以選擇將它一一扛在肩上，

也能選擇瀟灑地放下它們，

而能否放下，則會決定我們未來的人生，

將繼續痛苦，還是可以享有幸福。

想擺脫惡夢的糾纏，唯一的方式是「醒過來」；

想忘卻人生的不順遂，唯一的方法就是「放下」。

看来，我真的应该彻彻底底地醒过来 和放下， 那么我希望你也一样可以放下， 我知道这是我唯一必须对你做的。

阿弥陀佛，请袮大发慈悲，拯救他 还有我，希望我和他可以不再这儿兜圈，蹉跎更多的岁月。

我会用最大的努力与决心把你，把我们的过去完全放下，希望你也一样可以。

感恩～

Here comes to the end of my journey in Manipal

Lots of learning

Lots of experience

Lots of travelling

Lots of challenge

Lots of obstacles

Lots of enjoyment

All in all, i couldn't have done it without my fellow friends

and of course the guidance form all the lecturers, the medical personnel and most important the patients, the seniors, and each and everyone that i encountered in Manipal through this 2 and a half year

special thanks to my family especially my parents for their unconditional support

I feel really grateful to my government for sponsoring me, for giving me the chance to learn and to treasure friendship in this journey towards medical life.

Thanks to Amitabha for strengthen my soul whenever I face obstacles and therefore make me realize that miracles is no longer impossible

Hope to have more and more learning experience together with my fellow friends in this road to be a good doctor.

Half of the path taken, but we all know that distance from completion is still too far..

Lets us strike and pray for the best =)

人生点滴

这段日子

我像活得有点孤寂

但看起来又像活得很好

我感觉自己有时一个人也不是件坏事

一向喜欢热闹的我

开始欣赏宁静

开始慢慢的在人群里当个聆听者

开始自己的事自己解决

开始用很多角度看一件事

或许会更复杂

不过我会尽力简单化

选择没有成见

或许择往好的方面想

那样日子可以好过一些

很多事分不清是与非

黑或白

但这些都不重要

无论那些人在别人眼里怎么样

我可以感觉

他们对我都是真心的

或许以后会有冲突

会伤害我

但至少现在

我觉得自己是幸福的

人是没有十全十美的

但只要他们是真诚对待我

我都很感激

很多事有时是自己

太过自负

太过自我

也逊毙了

没能顾及大全

为了顾及许多事

往往忽略

甚至伤害自己最在乎的人

这些日子的争扎

我真的很疲累

但没有放弃

最后会选择

静静的

有时什么都没做

什么都不做

真的是个好办法

才发现有时真的很容易感情用事

被许多事蒙蔽

被利用

被灌输于成见

导致自己伤痕累累

同时也把在乎自己和自己在乎的人

伤得很深很深

最懊恼的有时不是不知道

但总是不能自制

总是后知后觉

然后祈祷没人在意

自以为是小小的事

就像一场意外杀人案件

很愧疚

但始终希望不会被发现

很可怕吧！

原来自己是这样的一个人

真的罪过啊！

往往很多不经意

就是事情的根源

往往很多不小心

就是罪魁祸首

往往很多小失误

即将铸成大错

所以人虽然不要太拘紧

但也不可以掉以轻心

要保护好别人的心

也要保护好自己的心

每当与身边的人有冲突

我都很伤心与害怕

害怕又失去一个朋友

伤心自己怎么那么坏

无奈一而再的伤害

最在乎的人

觉得很亏欠他们

可是不是所有事情

对不起都可以换来没关系

虽然曾经我很懊恼自己为何总说不出

对不起这句话

到一直说对不起

又变得不真诚

所以要适用‘对不起’

对我来说真的是高难度挑战

我真的感激

那些能接受我的‘对不起’

能回我‘没关系’的人

庆幸还可以说对不起

还听的见没关系

希望可以好好珍惜这样的人

感恩<3

一个人的晚餐

一个人的晚餐

或许有点沮丧

食而不知其味

一个人的晚餐

或许百感交集

万般滋味尝心头

一个人的晚餐

数尽餐厅里的摆设

算尽心里头的苦乐

一个人的晚餐

没有烛光

却有自己孤独的背影

但是

一个人的晚餐

可以很丰富

可以很随心

可以胡思乱想

可以自由选择想坐的位置

一个人的晚餐

可以观察隔座客人的互动

可以不顾自己的食相

可以慢慢品尝 食物的味道

也可以 一个人傻笑

所以

一个人的晚餐

其实没那么苦

没那么闷 也没那么可怜

只是凄雨相飞散，孤独人自怜

诗

夜，祭奠过往离愁

心，悬在漫天星岑

影，于光对立共存

雪，纷飞寒冬凄美

月，映入湖泊独潇洒

笑，看红尘往事悲喜

云，朦胧漂泊忆春风

霞，孤赏地平线恨晚

音，绕梁浮起旧心情

溪，辗转蔓延向东流

缘，相遇恨晚重遇难

戏，不道似结道似疤

雨，淅沥平伏沧桑

夏，暖风花颜难归

叶，凋零时已无情

诗，心如止水难续

当我说我是佛教徒时

当我说我是佛教徒时，

并不是在宣称：我比你更有智慧。

而是在低声说：我有太多无明烦恼要去除，

所以我选择学佛。

当我说我是佛教徒时，

并不是在显示我过去世累积了什么福德。

而是看到我往昔所造恶业多么深重，

所以祈求佛菩萨慈光加被、誓愿忏除。

当我说我是佛教徒时，

并不是因为我要逃避人世、追求虚无。

而是深知日常生活处处是道场，

活在当下就是在修行。

当我说我是佛教徒时，

我的生命并非从此不再遭遇挫折。

但是有了佛法相伴，

挫折一一转化成助我成长的因缘。

当我说我是佛教徒时，

我心中充满无尽的感恩。

单单想到今生有缘生而为人、具备修行的能力，

又有机会遇善知识、得以听闻佛法，

就深心感动因缘的不可思议。

当我说我是佛教徒时，

我知道菩提道上尽管七倒八起，

成就佛道却是我生生世世的功课。
By: 【慈悲生命协会 - Compassion Life Society】

An excerpt from Heart of a Mother by Paula J. Fox

An excerpt from Heart of a Mother by Paula J. Fox

A mother is born in that very moment a child becomes her own. And her heart begins to overflow with a love she has never known. Her focus changes instantly as her heart beats for another. It will never be the same again. It's the powerful heart of a mother! It's a heart of incredible courage with strength and endurance too. She fiercely protects and defends her young in ways only she can do. She sacrifices "self" to give her children what they need, developing their character to make sure that they succeed. Just like a lovely gardener she plants her seeds of love. Her heart gives lots of sunshine like blessings from above. She provides a firm foundation... a peaceful, loving home So her children's roots run deep and strong no matter where they roam. With a heart that nurtures them along to grow in the right direction She allows them freedom to blossom and thrive under her wise protection. They're prepared to face the storms of life, as they learn to stand alone. She gives them a sense of value and strength with a confidence of their own. There's a special beauty in a Mother's love She's a picture of wisdom and grace We honor her with gratitude... No one can take her place!

我还是我

才发现，原来自己是这么的傻

又回到故作坚强的战役

是自己和自己的战斗

无论那一方胜出

我还是我

过去的事偶尔想起

还是困惑

患得患失

但也不错作为未来的借镜

人总是要往前看的

偶尔缅怀是人之常情

但千万不要兜圈` 徘徊

从新掉入漩涡

因为这次或许再也没有

翻身的机会

该面对的想逃也难

不能面对的就暂且放着

只是时机还未成熟

人，当然要未雨绸缪

但有时真的人算不如天算

这不是认命

是在最绝境为自己找个生存的机会而已

因为只有适者才能生存

除了自强

没有谁能永远保护自己

除了自己允许

没有谁能伤得了自己

别人的事

管也管不了

尽力了就问心无愧

自己的事

要自行处理

免得身边的人为难

再坚强也需要呵护

不求别人的谅解

至少自己要疼惜自己

再柔弱也该到了自力更生的时候

不再是小孩了

至少要努力不让父母担心

我还是我

希望可以成为更坚强更懂事更勇敢的我

深夜了，其实应该去睡了。但似乎有好多好多的事情想，好多好多话要讲，却说不出个所以然。

也许很多事情再多说也没什么意义。

看开了许多事，心情其实比较坦荡，比较快活。还有那么一点点的在意，一点点的郁闷，但那也是难免的，毕竟人非圣贤，我本来就是个感情多多的傻子。会好的，会过去的，会慢慢习惯的，不被了解，不被呵护的感觉。真的很怀念过去的自己，虽然很多缺点，虽然什么都不懂，但依然有人呵护，疼惜，不过我想我没有后悔当今天的自己，比以前更进步，更懂事，更清楚自己的方向。或许应该说懵懵懂懂的日子已经离我越来越远，人长大了视野也很不一样。

不过想起来也真的很好笑。以前自认坚强勇敢潇洒，大家都不信，反而更觉得我需要被保护；现在我承认自己其实很差劲，很脆弱的，大家还是不信，觉得我在假装。

世事还真的很矛盾啊！不过现在我并不会在意别人的眼光。一直以来都太在乎别人怎么看自己，太爱面子，太肤浅，内心没有好好沉淀，太过飘渺，迷茫，虚有其表。是时候活得更踏实，实际一些！

现在只要每天都抱着开朗的心，充分的享受每一分一秒，很多事情尽量拿捏，不重不轻，对于一些人，一些话也无须太在意，专心做好应该做的，我想我会幸福的。

OBG posting

It's India Public Day today, so i got one day holiday. . at least for this CNY...

Today google page got a nice icon of elephants.. i bet i will really miss these elephants, or I should say i will really miss INDIA once i get back to Malaysia.

Now is almost near the end, my journey in Manipal.. Can't believe this two and a half years just pass like that. I can't say this is the toughest experience in my life but its is the most unbelievable miracle so far for me to have gone through this much.

Learning about medicine, the profession of a doctor that save life-- the noble job that assist GOD, just like an angel.. Can't believe i had chosen

to be one of them and can't believe i had been through this far.

The learning itself has been an interesting and fascinating experience. We get to know more about ourselves as a human being. Though I always like to mup up and memorized text as if it is my nature to do so, i find it hard when it comes to the ANATOMY of human body. Truly, God had done a great job in creating human with that bunch of muscles, nerves, vessels, and the most complicated part-- the BRAIN. Isn't it irony that my brain have difficulty in memorizing his own parts and function.. TROLLLLL!!!!!

Anyway, i passed the subject and when it is no more a subject to learn for exam i found it more attractive and more friendly to me.. *am i MAD to imagine that the subject has became like one of my best friend ever***well it does especially when come to application on medicine and surgery.. though most of the time i found myself as a fool for not knowing most of the structure soaking in that amount of blood that my mum will surely faint if she saw...i shall be satisfied when i revised it again and found out that i actually did study for the pass 2 years.. as a consolation maybe..

The theory part has always become so dull that most of my friends complaint and we found it quite useless and irrational to have learn too much but forget about it totally after the exam.. We hope we din't cause this profession is deal with the matter of life and death counted in seconds but sometime we just have to, because my brain feel stuff and congested, i had no choice but to remove previous memory... I bet all the medical students d

id that for the sake of passing the test..

Although this is the impression i get since i had been enrolled into the medical school.. but lately i found out and i knew i would find out one day .. the purpose of

all that i had been doing so far got its reason behind. As in buddha teaching all happenings are with its karma. I know that i am always too lacking since i started MBBS.. I am no longer the top student like last time in school. I always felt sad and traumatized to see my badly done results. SOmetimes i just feel like giving up but can you imagine, with this tiny and low level of mine that barely and just enough to pass i manage to explain to my family and other friends about the diseases and condition that they have, the basis behind it and the way to relieve the pain or to get cure.. I felt relieve, seriously, though i never have confident to do so but again its unbelievable, that it is ME that can do this.. Of course i have to learn more, sincerely and humbly so that i can help all of my patient in future.

The clinical year that i had started for 4 months so far are really inspiring. Mostly inspired by all the DOCTORS.. THey are really too great. Seeing them working day in and out for their patients, the knowledge, the skills, and the wisdom they have really make me motivated in learning ..

I get lots of different and amusing experience in each of the department.. But .. apart from the fun of learning, . there are always sorrows and tears.. though they are not my patients, though they are not known to me, but yet i felt sad to hear all the bad news.. standing beside them but nothing i can do except just some words of support.. i know there are more times like this in my career in the future, it still haven't start and getting started ..

Getting posted in obstetrics and gynaecology department after peadiatrics.. Women are the main concerned here.. I get to know more about myself and its time for me to take good care of myself for the sake of my baby in the future, hope it isn't too late now. No wonder mothers are noble, the responsibility to their child started since the day they know that they are female. Anything happens to their own body will have effects to their babies when they get pregnant later. There is only one thing flash in my mind when i realised it, for my condition now i know i can't make it. With all my history of amenorrhea, metrorrhagia, dysmenorrhea, the body that always deprived of rest and aneamic... I felt sorry for myself, should have taken better care before.. SO what to do now is start from now on i have to take extra care .. even if i am ot going to get married and have children, i have to be responsible to myself to prevent complication further in my life.

Watching both cesarean and normal vaginal labour, make me touch.. Mothers are really awesome to have the courage to gone through such pain just to deliver the baby.. seeing patients everyday in the OPD, Ward, Labour Room, OT.. lots of complications and suffer they had gone through throughout the whole process of pregnancy.. but it all paid off the moment they heard the baby cries for the first time ... TO all the disobedient and rebellious child out there, please be ashamed to have treat your parents badly.. I think all of us should see how a mother giving birth, then there will be no naughty and disobedient children, don't cha agree??

Each and everyday, i should study hard and learn well so that i can become like one of those professor of mine .. TO be a GOOD DOCTOR... =)

Can I set fire to the rain?

The first post of this new year..

I thought i have a new year resolution , I thought I can make it starting from the very first day..

so what now?? i don't even know am i suppose to be sad now??

what i know is I am hurt, again, once again..

though it won't be like those time, though as if it won't hurt..

I am just too disappointed to myself, I am angry that I have that feeling once again..

Please, don't .. my dear friend, don't approach me again if you were to hurt me again..

I don't want to be hurt, again and again..

This feeling is too sucks!!! Just as the lyrics ... Adele-- Set Fire to the Rain

My hands, they're strong

But my knees were far too weak

To stand in your arms

Without falling to your feet

But there's a side to you

That I never knew, never knew.

All the things you'd say

They were never true, never true,

And the games you play

You would always win, always win.

彻夜难眠

忙忙碌碌的，一天过这一天，大部分岁月在认真与享受中度过，我想我比从前更懂得享受与珍惜每分每秒。。在医院学习了很多，很充实，也很会做些有的没得来满足自己。。

每晚不是因为看戏或聊天到三更，就是有节目到很夜，感觉在蹉跎岁月，但却不觉得内疚。。很累的身子，疲倦的精神，每天都是如此，告诉自己，我还好，我能的，这是我要的。。虽然不完全是谎言，但有一部分都是装出来的伪装，故意颓废，放纵，逃避。。究竟是为了什么?? 我似懂非懂。。满满的行程，策划，为什么还是很空虚??

也许不需想太多，其实也没什么事的。。

今夜，没有要追戏，没有聊天的对象，没有可以做的事，满满的思绪，但不至于要爆炸，我想彻夜难眠，正是最好的形容词。。

很彷徨，很担心，很多疑问，很悸动，很多思绪，不懂从何说起，不懂该如何诉说，不懂向谁诉说。。什么都不能做，只有祈祷。。开始有点害怕，害怕着未来。。。。。。

丁薇◎冬天来了

作曲·丁薇 作词·丁薇 编曲·赵麟/金武嶙
姓名：丁薇 蓝调女歌手 南京人
她还为马格的《女孩与四重奏》谱了曲
在“新生代”歌手中她是比较有个性的一位
让我们一起欣赏丁薇与众不同的音乐

树叶黄了 就要掉了
被风吹了 找不到了
太阳累了 就要睡了
留下月亮 等着天亮
冬天来了 觉得凉了
水不流了 你也走了
音乐响了 让我哭了
心亦丢了 还会痛吗
啦啦啦啦啦....
还会痛吗

:)

这两天心情真的很沉重，每一次发生类似的事情，终会让我的心很纠结，可能我真的对人太粗心大意，但又很在乎那个人，究竟为什么？我也许懂也许不懂。。我也发现自己真的很烂，怎么可以那么的迟钝，那么的懵懂，才会造成彼此的伤害。。也许吧！我啊！真的很无情，不值得拥有那么一个好朋友。。

今天，心情还是一样忐忑，也不知道该怎么办。。或许什么都不做会简单一些，但这也太不像我的作风了。

上天真的很眷顾我，这段时间我犯了很多很多的错，但祂却一直在给我机会，给我自己也认为自己不值得给予的机会。。一而再的不知悔改，

但祂依然没有吝啬。。我真的很感恩。。

今天虽然也算不上什么大事，但真的，给了我很大的动力。。 谢谢阿弥陀佛，也谢谢那小弟弟。。 虽然算不上美，但对于一个七岁的小孩，那画工已经很厉害了。。虽然他说他只是随便选一个人来画，但我真的很感激，也很感动。。谢谢老天知道我心情不好，赐予我这个荣幸成为那画里的主角。

我一直都相信神明的存在，但 我不曾祈求什么奇迹，对于现在所拥有的已感到万分满足。。祂 却总会在我生命里插窜小小的惊喜，告诉我，即便看不见 祂 依然存在。。 真的很感恩 祂 不但赐予我所需要的，还无时无刻送我从未想过会得到的。。阿弥陀佛～

i always believe in HIS existence but i never ask for miracle as i always feel grateful for what i already have.. Today once again HE shows me his existence by making my day so wonderful even with a small small surprise.. I feel really grateful for having what i never thought of despite having what i would have needed.. Amitabha~

很久很久没有这种感觉了。。很想哭却知道不可以哭，一哭就无可救药了。。很多话想说，但早已没有倾诉的对象。。走在宁静的街道上。。街灯的灯黄黄的，忧郁惆怅。。一缕冷风吹过。。冰冰的但却很舒服。。走着走着。。仿佛失去了去向。。纠结的心，疲惫的身躯，感觉已走了好远但还没到达。。感觉已加快速度但并没有快感。。眼泪似乎不听使唤，但还是憋住了，流进了心里。。透巧的水滴声，弹入内心深处，泛起涟漪，淹没了。。。

冷冰冰的空气，传来悦耳的小提琴清奏。。疲惫的双眼还不想睡去，背又再隐隐作痛。。很想赶快回到温暖的床，把自己封闭，不想再接触世界的繁华。。

once again

once again , i knew, i din't understand and know u well

once again, i confirmed, i din't understand and know myself as well

... ...

improve

just after community medicine posting, life is still long way to go.. but today i suddenly feel tired.. that's something wrong but yet nothing is wrong..

contradiction arises in between me and my self...

why i just cant do anything moderately??

why am i hv to be so extreme in everything?

why cant i treat myself better??

why should i hv so many expectation on myself???

why why why... but still i am not trying to get an answer.. i just a bit tired of myself

don't worry, i am not getting emo again.. just that may be i shld do nothing to get somehting ... but not everything and get nothing...

i knew that i am just an average person , not even close to good.. but i didn't know that i am that kind of person that people should avoid... i am not upset about this.. just that i feel disappointed to myself.. i am just expecting too much from myself......

its true that i am someone that ppl should avoid..if i am someone else , i will sure avoid someone like me... too stubborn, too emo, too passive, too tense up... and i hd seen many example.. ppl around me get influence by me towards that lousy path... of course they are all ppl that care about me... if ppl din even care they wont find it hard.. coz they can simply ignore me or just avoid me..

may be its time already finally.. for me to become mature.. at least to be a better person.. i know its like saying nonsense ... to be better.. how well is better.. i just want to improve .. i wont use the word change myself or find back myself like last time... i just wanna improve.. and i shall improve..

so lets time to prove it.. and lets my heart, mind and soul to be one .. to unite , to reach what i shall obtain.

'sorry' its the word i used.. frequently to myself.. but from now on i wont use it anymore.. i shall improve.. sorry has been black listed.. it wont mean anything except finding excuses for myself and the act of irresponsible...

amitabha.. may my wish come true .. to improve

1. be moderate in everything

2. not to comment unnecessarily

3. try to be neutral, without bias

4. try to see the world in different angles

5. be truthful to myself

6. be loyal to my soul

7. listen but not just hear

8. respect others as well as myself

=)

人生趣味定律（转）

1.蘋果定律：如果在一堆蘋果裏，有好的也有壞的，你就應該先吃好的，把壞的扔掉，如 果你先吃壞的，本來好的最後也會變壞，你將永遠吃不到好的，人生也是如此。

2.快樂定律：任何事情只要你往好處想你就會快樂，就像你如果不小心掉進水溝裏時，你可以幻想說不定剛好有一條魚鑽進你的口袋。

3.幸福定律：如果你不是總是在想自己是否是幸福的時候，你就幸福了。

4.地位定律：有人站在山腳下，有人站在山頂上，雖然所處的位置不一樣，但在兩人眼裡 的對方的大小看來都一樣。

5.沈默定律：在爭辯的時候，最難以被辯倒的觀點就是沈默。

6.動力定律：動力往往源自兩種原因，希望或絕望。

7.受辱定律：受辱時的唯一辦法就是忽視它，如果不能忽視它，就藐視它，如果連藐視它 也不能，那你就只有受辱了。

8.愚蠢定律：愚蠢大多是在手腳，或嘴比大腦行動還快的時候就產生了。

9.價值定律：當你終於擁有某一項東西的時候，你就會發現這種東西並不像你原來所想的 那樣有價值。

10.失眠定律：開了電視睡得著，關了電視反而睡不著。

11.人生定律：人生一輩子就是一盤棋，每一步都是靠自己走出來的。

12.談話定律：最使人厭煩的談話有兩種，一是從來不停下來想想，另一種是從來不想停 下來。

13.慣性定律：任何事情只要你能夠堅持不斷地去做它，它終究會變成一種習慣。

14.遊戲定律：無論你的保齡球打得多爛， 每次玩時都可能有一兩次全倒，令你高興到下 次還會再來玩。

15.指責定律：當用一個手指指責別人的時候，別忘了有四個手指正指向自己。

16.旅遊定律：沒有比記憶中更好的風景，所以最好不要故地重遊。

17.備份定律：學會用你的左手做一些事情，因為右手不是永遠都管用。

18.時間定律：一分鐘到底有多長？這要看，你是蹲在廁所裡面，還是等在廁所外面。

19.尋找定律：有時愈是急著找東西，就愈是找不到，靜下心來發一下呆，你就會發現東 西一直就在你左手中。

等待. 送别.

等待，原来可以很从容

送别，原来可以很悸动

等待. 送别. 好久没做这样的事了..

等待与送别同一个人，更是不再有。。

虽然不知现在等待的是厄运或好运

送别的是知识或欢乐，

还是感恩上天如此的安排。。

感恩让我有不一样又久违的从容和悸动。。

挑战

这几天真的。。不懂怎么说。。有种非常挑战自我的感觉

第一挑战--痛， 虽然一直都这边痛那边痛，但就从没这么痛法。。

第二挑战--勇气，才知道自己原来那么的怕去看医生，我想我真正能体谅病人们的心情了。。

第三挑战--坚强，不能哭，一定不能哭。。哭了眼睛会痛，哭了会很丑，哭了会emo。。

第四挑战--自制，不能想歪，不能像负面的，不能掉进恶魔的圈套，哦！原来恶魔=emo！！！

第五挑战--控制，不能发脾气，不能提高声量，不能没礼貌，不能不专业！！

看来第五条真的失败了，尤其对妈妈，该死，让她担心个半死，还敢大声对她说话！！钱嘉佩，你很烂吔！！！

Simple Truths
Life is not about finding yourself.....it is about creating yourself!

L.I.V.E.U

一次的爱情，惊天动地，我想我已满足了。。

无奈，原来是我和你的代名词。。

另一种启示。

今天，虽然不是个什么特别日子，但我觉得，是一个值得记住的一天。。虽然都是一些负面的事情，但我想我的人生又有了令一种启示。

今天一早的课被取消了，那当然是件好事，可以多休息一个小时。。

因为昨天我突破了自己的极限，完成了自己没想过可以完成的事，在大学体育馆一口气跑了40大圈，在一个小时以内。。所以真的值得自己奖赏自己一下=D

当我听见也在跑步的人对朋友说今天要一口气跑5圈，希望可以成功。。我有一点暗爽，同时很惊讶，原来我早已远远超越，当然也希望那人能成功，虽然是个陌生人。。

#有时回头看看，你会发现，你已超越许多人#记得体育馆里其中一个海报是这么写的，至于出至于那位运动健将，我忘了 XD

以为休息多一小时，应该比较精神的，结果脑袋重重的很勉强的去上课。。那堂课真的很想给脸专心，但头真的很晕，我想我真的不行了，教授的POWERPOINT真的够力。。146 个SLIDE。。晕倒，没生病的都受不了，我想我又突破了另一样东西，我还勉强可以专心80%，在那么眩晕的情况下。。

放学回到房间就一直睡觉，头还是很晕。。这种感觉真是第一次。。也许是因为生理期，还有昨天太激烈运动，加上最近腹部left lumbar region有点疼痛。。不会是大肠出事了吧?! 得去看医生才行了。。人生有时真的很短促，这也是我想要当医生其中一个原因。。原来生病时，真的很容易被魔鬼侵占头脑，突然间好多负面的想法，回忆统统跑出来。。好想哭。。但我懂只要熬得过，就会没事的，所以忍住了眼泪。。。好可笑，竟然跑去告诉妈妈，结果又被骂一顿，我虽然不爽生病还要被骂，但心里明白妈妈真的很担心，我呀！也太不孝了。。突然发现自己开始会站在别人立场想。。也许我真的长大了。。

晚上感觉好了一点，要去为我的同学们打气，这是我们离开印度前最后的战役，必胜的印度舞蹈比赛。。看着他们很努力的在台上表现，想起他们这些日子的付出，真的不能不大声为他们打气。。真的太棒了。。好友刚买了相机但不怎么会用，所以就叫我帮忙拍照，我也不怎么会，发现是时候要catch up 一点摄影技巧了，回想那些年。。我是摄影组的。。终于，成绩公布了，我们竟然得不到第一，只得第二，大家突然失落了起来，这时天空也下起了毛毛雨。。去年我们知道自己是最好的，但没赢，今年，结果还是一样。。这，让我体会，人生有时真的不是没努力过，而是终究还是不能抵达。。别人的肯定。。

回到房间，闲着就去看看妹妹的博客，结果发现雷同的事。。我不懂她想要得到谁的肯定，也不敢胡乱猜测，但我知道，这对她，真的很重要。。人，总是很努力的要活在一些标准下，无论是自己定的标准，社会设的标准，一大堆的规则，目标。。。当然规则与目标是必然的。。只是有时太过于逼迫自己去跟从与追随，真的会让人有点喘不过气。。所以我有了自己对人生的令一个看法。。当然我是绝对支持规则与目标的重要性，也会努力的遵从，完成。。只是我也认为，如果我最终想抵达的是幸福，那我想就算达不到某某某的标准，只要我懂自己努力了，那就是最好的，我，也会幸福的，不是吗?!^^

playlist轮到了一首老歌《一生何求》，如果有人问我一生何求，我想我知道。。我的答案，你呢？

看了许多朋友的博客，有高兴的，伤心的。。其中很多都是让人心痛的事，原来到了这个年纪，没有小时盼望长大的美好。。我们都长大了，要学会面对许多的事情，还有更多更大的挑战在等着。。几米说：未来的路还有很长，你也许会哭，但也要勇敢把它走完。。我也曾经有过难过，低落，忧郁的一段日子，所以真的很明白他们的心情，人生路，有起有落。。加油吧！朋友们。未来不管还有什么在等着，《光辉岁月》里--一生经过彷徨的挣扎，自信可改变未来，问谁又能做到。。我希望是我，希望大家也一样！

幾米的童話城堡

聽說旅行的意義就是逃離。

逃離的不是一座城，

而是一段記憶。

=D

當明天變成了今天成為了昨天，

最後成為記憶裡不再重要的某一天，

我們突然發現自己在不知不覺中已被時間推著向前走，

這不是在靜止的火車裡，

與相鄰列車交錯時，

彷彿自己在前進的錯覺，

而是我們真實的在成長，

在這件事裡成了另一個自己。
By: 幾米的童話城堡